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Newly Discovered Icelandic Saga Confirms Contact With American Bigfoot

Newly Discovered Icelandic Saga Confirms Contact with American Bigfoot

Reykjavik, Iceland, April 1, 2020

Ari Olafsson had no idea his family had kept an original Icelandic Saga book all these years. “It feels surreal. My grandfather never showed me this,” Mr. Olafsson says. “We think we have them all, but I guess there might be some others here and there, in people’s garages.”

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Ari Olafsson

Olafsson, appointed the executor of his grandfather’s will, made the discovery while sifting through a storage unit of the deceased’s belongings. Seeing the age and style of the document, he immediately submitted a request to the National Museum of Iceland to verify its authenticity. Museum curator of ancient texts, Magnus Magnusson, spent two weeks analyzing the artifact and concluded it is a lost Icelandic Saga.

At first, I thought it was a fake, but when the aging analysis returned and confirmed it was produced in the 13th century, we knew we had something special in our hands.

“It’s an exciting discovery,” Magnusson says. “At first, I thought it was a fake, but when the aging analysis returned and confirmed it was produced in the 13th century, we knew we had something special in our hands.”

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Magnus Magnusson

While a newly discovered Icelandic Saga is cause for celebration enough, what Magnusson found in the text proved even more exciting. The story told in the document speaks of a voyage to Vinland, in America, and of something so unusual, it caused the entire team of analysts pause. 

“You know, we heard before in one document about the dark-eyed and hairy natives of Vinland, but we always thought it was about people,” Magnusson says. “In this story, they describe a man-like beast, half man and half bear, who lurks in the forest and steals children.”

When asked what creature he thinks the Saga is referencing, Magnusson said, “American Bigfoot.”

But then I read it, and it was there, clear as day. The Vikings saw Bigfoot.

“I don’t believe it,” says historian Bjorn Kjartansson at the University of Reykjavik. “Bigfoot? It feels like a joke. But then I read it, and it was there, clear as day. The Vikings saw Bigfoot.”

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Newly Discovered Saga

Magnusson read for us the passage in question: “They roam the forests and watch us from the trees. They are not bears, and they are not Skraellings. The skraellings fear them and worship them, and they call them The Great Ones. The Great Ones have stolen two of our children, we believe to devour them. At night they howl like wolves to the moon. Some nights, they throw stones at our houses. Bjarni saw one clear enough one day. He saw a beast tall as a mountain and eyes black as night, with hair like a wolf’s mane covering its whole body. So horror-stricken was he, Bjarni took his family and his ship, and sailed from this place.”

“There’s more,” Magnus says, “but the translation needs work.”

When asked for further comment on the discovery, and whether his ancestors had seen the American Bigfoot, Ari Olafsson said, “I don’t really care, as long as I can make some money off of it.”

The implications of the new document are astounding. Did the Vikings encounter the famed Bigfoot in North America? Is Bigfoot to blame for the failure of the Vinland colony? Does it really steal children to eat them? Magnusson has vowed to continue his research and hopes to answer all these questions.

Article originally published on APRIL FOOL’S DAY!!! 

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